Active listening requires being fully present in the conversation. This enables you to concentrate on what is being said. Being present involves listening with all your senses (sight, sound, etc.) and giving your full attention to the speaker.
To use this active listening technique effectively, put away your mobile phone, ignore distractions, avoid daydreaming, and shut down your internal dialogue. Place your focus on your conversation partner and let everything else slip away.
As much as 65 percent of a person's communication is unspoken. Paying attention to these nonverbal cues can tell you a lot about the person and what they are trying to say. For instance, if they talk fast, this could be a sign that they are nervous or anxious. If they talk slowly, they may be tires or trying to choose their words carefully.
During active listening, your non-verbal behaviors are just as important. To show the person you are genuinely tuned in, use open, non-threatening body language. This involves not folding your arms, smiling while listening, leaning in, and nodding at key junctures.
When engaged in active listening, making eye contact is quite important, too. This tells the other person that you are present and listening to what they say. It also shows that you are not distracted by anything else around you.
Meanwhile, you don't want to use so much eye contact that the conversation feels weird. To keep this from happening, follow the 50-to-70 rule. This involves maintaining eye contact for 50 percent to 70 percent of the time spent listening - holding the eye contact 4 to 5 seconds before briefly looking away.
Asking "yes/no" questions often produce dead-end answers. This isn't helpful during active listening as it keeps the conversation from flowing. It also makes it difficult to truly listen to the other person, because there isn't much you can gain from a short, non-descriptive response.
Instead, ask open-ended questions to demonstrate that you are truly interested in the conversation and the other person. Eamples of open-ended questions you may use when active listening could be:
Can you tell me a bit more about that?What did you think about that?What do you think is the best path moving forward?How do you think you could have responded differently?After the person has spoken, tell them what you heard. This active listening technique ensures that you've captured their thoughts, ideas or even emotions accurately. It also helps the other person feel validated and understood while keeping any potential miscommunications to a minimum.
One way to reflect what you've heard is to paraphrase. For instance, you could say, "In other words, what you are saying is that.." or "So just to ensure I understood your point, you would like to...?"
If you'd like to better understand something the person has said, ask for clarification, however do not focus on insignificant details that you miss the big picture.
Patience is an important active listening technique, because it allows the other person to speak without interruption. It also gives them the time to say what they are thinking without having you try to finish their sentences for them.
Being patient also involves not trying to fill periods of silence with your own thoughts or stories. It also requires listening to understand, not to respond. That is, don't prepare a reply while the other person is still speaking. Also, don't change the subject too abruptly as this conveys boredom and impatience.
Remaining neutral and non-judgmental in your responses enables the other person to feel comfortable with sharing their thoughts. It makes the conversation a safe zone where they can trust that they won't be shamed, criticized, blamed or judged.
Ways to be less judgmental when listening could be:
Expressing empathy for the person or their situationLearning more about different people and culturesPracticing acceptance of othersRecognizing when you may be judging the other person, then "stopping" these thoughtsBeing an active listener in your relationships involves recognizing that the conversation is more about the other person that about you. This is especially important when the other person is emotionally distressed
Active listening at work is quite important no matter of the position you are in - supervisory, entry level or senior management. It helps you understand problems, develop solutions and collaborate. It also showcases your patience - a valuable asset in the workspace.
For instance, in the catering and hospitality industry, engaging in active listening could improve workplace safety, and help everyone in the team in running service smoothly, as well as prevent unintentional mistakes and conflicts.
Active listening helps you better understand another person's point of view and respond with empathy. This is important not just at work, but also in all types of relationships whether with a spouse, parent, child or another family member.
Being an active listener in your relationships involves recognizing that the conversation is more about the other person that about you. This is especially important when the other person is emotionally distressed.
Sometimes the other person may not even want you to offer them a solution to the problem they have, but just really wants to be heard.
Active listening techniques such as reflecting, asking open-ended questions, seeking clarification, and watching body language help you develop relationships when meeting new people. People who are active and empathetic listeners are good at initiating and maintaining conversations.
